I KNEW it!

Mothers are always right. Remember way back (six whole weeks ago) when we went for our first ultrasound and the tech determined the age of the baby was 7 weeks 3 days? Remember how I insisted that the baby was actually 8 weeks old? Well, I was RIGHT! Today's ultrasound revealed the true age of the baby to be 13 weeks 1 day, meaning the first ultrasound was off by 5 days, making me right on the money. And five days is not a little bit of time in the life of a fetus.

So, I went today for the Nuchal Translucency scan at Hack. After, of course, doing just enough research on Down Syndrome and the other trisomies (not to mention Autism, for which you can't even test until the kid is like, a toddler) to get myself worked up into a mild frenzy. Luckily I had to drive myself (I really need to concentrate hard when I don't know where I'm going) and also there wasn't a whole lot of time in the waiting room, so I didn't get to think too much about it beforehand. Thank goodness.

It was my first time at the hospital and what I saw of it looked pretty nice. I wish I'd gotten the chance to look around more. The ultrasound tech was very sweet and very enthusiastic, which is fantastic considering that she takes pictures of strangers' fetuses day in and day out. She still managed to make my experience seem special. Or maybe our kid really is more impressive than others already. Hmmm...

Anyway, I walked in (Papouism) and laid down on the table, and she applied the gel and the ultrasound apparatus to my stomach, and even though I fully knew what to expect, I can't even describe the thrill I felt when the fuzzy, rolling landscape on the little black and white screen suddenly morphed into a dark, kidney shaped hollow with an actual baby floating in it! We've seen pictures of our neighbor's scans (see link at right to 'the 'cawens') and seen countless pictures in books and online of what ultrasounds at 12-14 weeks look like, and I was fully prepared and really excited to see something that resembled a human--leaps and bounds from the Lil' Bean of week 7 (week 8, ha-HAH!). But nothing could have prepared me for the actual experience of it. Even though my little book says the baby is constantly moving, and that, "using the wall of the uterus as a springboard, he leaps up and down," I guess I didn't quite grasp the...I don't know...literal-ness (literality? hehe) of that statement. As in, when you see the ultrasound of your baby, it won't just be a still, silent portrait. It will show him twisting and turning, jumping, flexing his legs, reaching with his arms... Babies aren't asleep all the time in there, even though it is small and quiet and dark and really, really comfy. Seems silly that I didn't put the two together.

Or maybe I did, logically, but the reality is something all together different and totally visceral. Our baby really was jumping. It almost looked like hiccups because his little legs are so short in comparison to the rest of his body, but when the legs came into focus it was clear that they were bending and flexing and pushing off, and then his little head was hitting the top of the womb, sending him back to the bottom again. He was reaching his arms over his head, then putting his fingers in his mouth, then throwing the back of his hand against his forehead in despair (it's tough in there, I tell you!). He kicked his legs all way out in front of himself, and then tucked them back underneath, crossed at the ankles, and rubbed them together like my dad does when he's sleeping. When the tech moved around to get a shot of the "lower extremities," there was a moment when the plane in focus showed just his feet--perfect little soles with teeny, tiny toes! The tech was trying to get a clear profile picture for Sean since he wasn't able to be there, but every time that little face would come into focus, he'd just as quickly squirm and twist and wriggle around. The tech jiggled my belly pretty hard over and over and over, trying to get him to flip over when he faced away. I turned to one side, and then the other, hoping he would flip around too, then finally she tilted the top of the table back so that my feet were higher than my head, and he stopped. Maybe it was just the strange orientation--I don't think there have been many instances since I've been pregnant when my feet have been higher than my head (except for at Pilates), but whatever it was, it worked. He relaxed and she got this fabulous shot, and I heard the heartbeat again: 162 beats per minute, very loud and very strong.

Lest all you who voted "girl" get your panties in a bunch, I'm just calling the baby "he" today because that's what the techs do before the sex is determined (and because, frankly, "it" is getting tiresome). Last week I was saying "she." I'm not committing just yet, and we won't know for sure for another five or six weeks.

11 Weeks and Counting...

Ok, so once again my expectations for my most recent doctor's appointment were not met. Dammit! I think I've learned the lesson though, which is simply not to have expectations. Everyone's doctor is different and everyone's pregnancy is different, and I'll know better next time around I suppose, blah blah blah. Still, at this stage in the game when I really don't 'feel pregnant' yet, I'm totally reliant on the pictures of what in heck is going on inside of my body. And while pictures of strangers' uteruses (uteri?) are helpful from a logical standpoint, they're just not doing it for the illogical side of me (which, these days, is approximately 99.8% of myself). Hence the stock photo of some strange fetus in some strange womb in the 11th week, which is where Lil' B is now. It somehow reminds me of the Japanese flag. Cute, but not as cute as ours. This week you are to note the very well developed joints, which allow the baby to do somersaults and bounce around off the walls of the sac (no, I am not making this up), the budding fingernail beds (nails come next week), and that the eyes are moving around to the front of the head and the spine is straightening. Woohoo! Now that's progress. And it seems to be a little more than two inches long, or about the size of my engagement ring (just kidding). I'm looking around trying to find something comparable and I don't seem to own anything that's two inches long. How odd. Oh wait! My thumb is a little more than two inches from just above the first joint. Cool. Thumb Baby.

I'm exaggerating about the level of disappointment with my doctor's appointment. While it's true that I was hoping for an ultrasound and didn't get one (hmph!), otherwise it went really well. I wish Sean had been there to meet the doctor, who this time was Dr. Pat Robinson (she works with Dr. Weinstein and I'll see both docs throughout the pregnancy). Dr. Robinson said that they deliver more than 200 babies a year and only about two are delivered by the stand-by docs ("both boys," she said) when she and Dr. Weinstein are off for the Jewish holidays. Are doctors really allowed to take holidays? Aside from this apparent slacker mentality, she was really great--fabulous bedside manner, really took time with me to talk about concerns and take my history, and seemed otherwise like a perfectly normal person, which is always good.

The reason I didn't get an ultrasound this visit has something to do with the fact that the FNT (Fetal Nuchal Translucency test) has to be done at the hospital...I'm not sure why. The con of that is that it required making yet another appointment which won't be for another week and a half (optimal timing for the test is 13 weeks), but the pro is that we get to check out Hackensack University Medical Center, where we'll be having the kid.

Also disappointing this week is that we weren't able to go down the shore with Sean's family after all. When he returned from AZ he had hours and hours of preparation for the Dallas trip (where he is now), so there was just no way. More disappointing than not being at the beach though is the fact that we now have to wait another week to tell Eva, Courtney and Derek. We'll go down to New Hope next weekend for a cookout though, and tell them then. Can't wait till Sean is home tonight--should be the last trip for a while!

Oh--and in other news, Sadie is taking her role of preparing us for parenthood very seriously. Yesterday she ate half of a cake and a loaf of very expensive organic flax seed bread. Right off the counter. Better her than me, but still. She then proceeded to lose most of the cake right ON the new silk drapes in the office/baby's room. That will teach me.

I will be delivered after all.

Praise Jesus (and April). I found an OB/GYN who is in our insurance network, who is a woman, who is taking new patients, who actually delivers babies, and who does so at Hackensack University Medical Center. It's truly a miracle.

Honestly, I had no idea this would be an issue. When I first moved to Jersey, I got a referral from one of Sean's accounts for a female OB who happens to deliver, and whom I've been seeing for a few years. I never though to be concerned with her hospital affiliation, and it never even occurred to me to ask whether she had ultrasound equipment on site until my first prenatal visit, at which point we were given a scrip and told to make an additional appointment on another date at some medical imaging center down the road a piece. So that was a little anticlimactic, to say the least, especially after we'd gotten so pumped up to get our first peek at the babe during that visit. Also, the ultrasound tech didn't allow Sean in the room with me initially (she said it was because she needed to be sure that everything was okay before inviting the father into the room....but that seems so counterintuitive, since the father has every right to be there WHILE that's being found out, doesn't he? Not to mention that if, *spit* *spit*, there actually was a problem, wouldn't that be when you'd most need one another? I really don't think that would have happened at a doctor's office. Whatever. Thank god everything was fine).

So we set out on a wild goose chase to find a good doctor in an effort to minimize the chances of something disappointing, or worse, happening again. We both agreed that we'd prefer a Labor and Delivery center within a hospital, rather than a birthing clinic. The Women's and Children's Pavilion at Hack really stood out to us, and it's a great relief to Sean that they have a stellar children's hospital to boot. All that aside, I'd be lying if I said that the Nicole Miller designer hospital gowns and the BEYOND Spa didn't play a part in my decision making process...

But all the OBs to whom we were referred were either not delivering anymore (not surprising, with the $50k+ malpractice requirement in addition to their regular premium) or weren't accepting new patients (also not surprising, since the pickins are so slim). Aaaarrrrrgh.

After casting a wide enough net we were successful at last, and in the nick of time as my new doctor, Melissa Weinstein, was able to squeeze me in during the window in which the first trimester combined screening needs to happen. This is the ultrasound and blood panel that help to determine the risk of Down Syndrome and trisomy-18 (er...gotta read up on that one).

Sadly, Sean will still be in Arizona (where he is now) for my appointment, which is this Friday. Boohoo. But I'll have an tasteful black and white of our brilliant little bean to show him when he gets home, and to show his brother and sisters when we break the news to them this weekend down the shore. I really hope we get a nice profile shot!

Smarter than the average bear...

I may not have a scanner, but I DO have a digital camera! So I took a picture of the picture of the baby, who will affectionately be referred to henceforth as Lil' B. The print out of the sonogram is high-gloss though, so it was really hard to get a pic without some nasty glare (which is why the annoying angle). At least you can make out the general outline of the little Lima bean chilling in its comfy womb chair.

There really is a baby in there!

I just sent the first Baby Update email to a few family members, having not yet committed to the idea of a blog...and then created a blog. So rather than reinventing the wheel, I'm going to copy and paste the email I just sent.

8:46am July 15, 2008
Sub: Ultrasound--Not ours, but can you really tell?

Hi, guys!

So we had our first ultrasound yesterday and everything's looking good. Actually, looking quite like a Lima bean, but sounding human anyway. We heard the heartbeat, which was really amazing! I sort of wish they didn't make you hold your urine for these things, because I would have enjoyed the experience much more if my teeth weren't floating. In any case, it was certainly memorable and it made it very real for both of us. Until we got proof, I think we were both a little apprehensive. But there it is--hanging on tight, little heart pumping away.

I thought our printer/copier had a scanner option, but alas it does not, so I'm sending a link instead to some stranger's ultrasound that looks remarkably like our baby! Go figure. According to the calendar, the baby's age is 7 weeks 2 days, and according to the crown-to-rump measurements, the baby's age is 7 weeks 4 days, which puts us at a due date of February 27. But I'm sticking with my story that the kid is 8 weeks and just really, really petite. I'm almost positive. Time will tell, as the measurements get more and more accurate the bigger the baby gets. Right now taking the measurements is literally like splitting hairs, but at this stage, just a couple days here and there makes a huge difference! We're talking the difference between toes and NO TOES! Or TAIL and no tail! Huge, I tell you.

So it was really important that Sean and I tell as many people as possible IN PERSON, which is why we are waiting until our weekend down the shore with Sean's family to tell his siblings. Of course, his mom and dad know already. That will mean that most of our close friends and family will know by the first week of August, but we're waiting until the end of the 1st trimester, AUGUST 15th, to make it public knowledge, and at that point you can all feel free to tell whomever. Thanks for keeping it to yourselves in the meantime!

We're toying with the idea of keeping a blog because so many of the important people in our lives don't live near us. I'm still trying to get used to the idea. We'll keep you posted if we do.

Here's the stranger's ultrasound. Seriously, the only difference is that the stranger's baby looks like it's swimming in the middle of the sack, expending a whole lot of energy, and mine is chilling like the sack is a womb chair (huh...), like a smart little bean.
http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://bp2.blogger.com/_OFODEphY20A/RqVs3bves1I/AAAAAAAAABI/SPLDOh8RxEo/s320/baby%2Bcanar0003.jpg&imgrefurl=http://babycanar.blogspot.com/2007/07/our-little-peanut.html&h=236&w=320&sz=16&hl=en&start=14&sig2=RiHplVxUEtV0CZcgoOkDjw&um=1&tbnid=E9n4f7g3bRA_gM:&tbnh=87&tbnw=118&ei=xpJ8SIDXOYXOggL--pGaDw&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dultrasound%2B7%2Bweeks%26ndsp%3D18%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%26sa%3DN

And here's a cool picture of what it looks like close up. Much more endearing than the fuzzy gray spot in the ultrasound.
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_IFYXp_KJ0YM/RlCRKftxZjI/AAAAAAAAAAk/gpzMHpQh9LQ/s1600-h/7weeks.jpg

Hope you're all well and that we get to see you soon!!

Love,
Jessica, Sean & ?